错事

每个人都有做错事的时候，只是在于错事的严重性。

有些事，做错了，过了就算了；有些事，做错了，就是一世人了。不用多的，做错一次，就足够让你一世不能理直气壮的面对人了。人家往往就会拿着你错的事来讲，凡事都拿回来讲；就因为你曾经做错过了，所以任何事你都会理亏在先。

所以说呢，凡事三思而后行 @ 可是不做错事又怎样成长呢？ 嗨~真矛盾！

礼物

我终于收到了你的礼物，真的很开心。谢谢。

微笑

微微嘴角，忘掉烦恼；轻轻一笑，忧愁走掉；伸出一脚，踢开不妙；看开每角，身心最好。

听天由命

今天和一位朋友谈了一小段，大约有个10多分钟，发现的确有人和我看到一样的事；我很开心，因为我们看到的事都是一样的，证明了我之前想的不是在乱来。其实我已开始改变想法，让自己变得更随性，看开，大方的接受所有的想法，看东西也不应该这样灰了，因为这是很自私的；所以现在我需要比人家更坚强的面对，让一切都回来，让一切从新开始，往共同的目标前进。

可是有一点我真的控制不到，那就是“出现或不出现”。
这唯有听天由命~

Help me

For those who read my blog, please let me know I use to what kind of person?
I need to find back myself. Tell me more how I am before.
Im losing my confidence and now I think is till the deep deep corner.

So .... ladies and gentlemen, for those who know me, please comment on how I use to be. Thx you

SAD

Thousand of images keep on popping out in my mind, thousand of words wouldn't want to express but no one beside me. Im making myself alone, those who know me might not know me again because Im someone else. Use to be a very happy guy in the world but end up with a most stupid and useless guy. I don't know what I can do to stop all this thing happen, I really don't. I am very sad, really very sad. One site can't handle and the other side problem again. Now, jobless, family pushing, low self-confidence, challenge of relationship, all things happen to gather. Can anyone just help to escape from all this? Im facing a difficult life check point here, what I do may effect the entire rest of my life. I really very stress and sad, I feel I din smile for long time, this happen always not something good to me.

Telling friend about secret thing but no can keep secret, its hurts. I really dunno how to face others when the day come or maybe, I wil never have a chance to meet them.

It happen

It happened. It does :)

Going to

I think something is going to happen but I don't what is it, perhaps it not a bad thing.
Really don't how it will go that worst but one thing I know, is all bout me.

So ...... go hit the wall till bleeding and than I think something will work out.

*I feel that you are tired with things happened recently, I won't stop you again from doing what you want, even for the worst thing as well. Just let me know when it really happen so that I can arrange myself. Thx you

Sorry

Im deeply apologize to those who involved to me due to my own problem.

There are no problem at the beginning and Im creating it.I deserve to have this ending and this treatment; public listed annoying people, controlvative, not understanding, passasive and know how to packing yourself well.

Im apologize with my sincere and hope things will change soon. I am about to losing everything.
No one can help me unless myself but the motive is not there.

I really don't all this happen. PLEASE~

Worst

The feeling get worst; I thought it will be recover soon but end up getting worst.
I don't what happen but just know that something is wrong.

At this moment, I suddenly can understand how my friend feel in the past; I know why those action taken, I understand the purpose of doing it.

Now I already become the most hate one by everyone and Im doing such thing to throw my own face. I don't how to face others when i meet them; it doesn't create any good impression at first but end up with something else.

Im losing myself, where I suppose to go?

Reason

Everyone do thing because of a reason.
When things decided, there are always thousand reason for you to do it.
When things haven't decide, there are also thousand of reason to push it away.

There no right or wrong because this not related to ethical issue; just different people got different mindset. thats all

Obsessed

I had learn a new word "obsessed'. Sometimes being too obsesses will create alot of problem.
Just get scold gao gao and make the whole office know about what happen actually; think back really feel so stupid which do not know how to choose a best time and a good place to talk. But human is like, need to hit wall only when u know you are wrong.

Just have a quite long conversation with a old friend, found out that alot of things actually is not exist; but is ur mind tell you that it will happen. Why your mind will process in this way? Because unhappy past make you think in this way. So, how will you overcome it? if there is a solution, this post wouldn't been posted. So....there is no solution.

But thing is no never and ever, thing that have to chance is the way of thinking. Try how to be open minded, accept things, look far, think from positive way, give and take, should or shouldn't, learn how to communicate, how to express yourself and how to make your mind clear enough; i think it will helps. Last but not least, i think self confidence must be call back.

Don't why i had lost my confidence all the while, i thought im getting it back but it doesn't. When thngs happen again and again, it shows the confidence is not there. So.....? For me, the main solution for recover confidence is to prove that you are the best. How to know you are the best? physically and phsycologically. You need make yourself the top of your career, earn the biggest money which others cant, treat your loves one which others cant do, give her the best that you can give. All this make yourself outstanding and your confidence back.

Above is what im thinking; I might be very gia su or show off but this is what in my mind.

Losing 输着

"You are losing me" so it means that Im losing to someone or Im losing to myself?

Hehe. I think it should myself lo.Aiks, so, I need fight against my mind.Opss....

Challenges

Life really full of challenges, from environment especially.
Been challenges reall don't feels good but we need overcome it so that we can go future.

No doubt, im now challenging with somethg, but myself also dunno wat is it, maybe jobless gua...hahaha...or online game attraction but I know i will overcome it with my ways.

I will prove how i overcome it with my future. I know I can!!!!!!

Ideal Boyfriend

How to classify as a ideal boyfriend?
For me, i think an ideal boyfriend should have requirement as below:
1. Good looking
2. Good characteristics
3. Well family background
4. Rich
5. Treat girlfriend as good as how you treat yourself
6. Potential be future partner/husband
7. Maybe i left out ............

Above are all the requirements and I realize that none of one can use to describe me. Any one willing share some way how to become an ideal boyfriend? I had try my best and none of it works. I feel I already don't know how to become people's boyfriend. I feel I am no longer the one I should behave, I had changed. I change to someone that I don't know, being very suspective, very unpatient, and etc; all the bad attitude had showed on me.

So ...... this is my real image or I can be atleast one of the requirements? :)

Interview, Survive & Future

In the past 2 weeks, I had sent out my resumre to more than 10 companies and none of them call back to ask for interview. I am so sad and doubt bout myself; is it because my CGPA makes them do not call me back?

Thing changes in this week, monday morning i received 2 calls, 1 is from my internship company and 1 from the 10 companies I had sent. They ask me for an interview on tues and wed, I am so happy when someone call me for an interview. I prepared myself, dress up smartly (hehe) then attend the 2 interview.

Both company offer differently; my intern company offer me quite well, can get attractive salary and have potential in future but damm alot of limitation and restriction; another company's income might not be that attractive but still in consideration range, most important is I am free to fight for my future over this company.

Now I am waiting call back from others company. If there are no call, I will choose between this 2 companies. I am waiting my wife to come back, discuss and analyze together which to for go.

She back KL today! WAHAHAHA!

过了~

这样就过了24个年头了，大学毕业了咯。

心里有莫名奇妙的感觉，既很想毕业又不想毕业。想到工作可以赚钱养家很开心，可是又想到没那么自由了，没得skip class去看电影或唱k了咯；然后又想到不懂找什么工，做工没得像考试投机取巧，每一步都很重要的。

想起以前读书的生活真的很快乐，可是并不代表现在不快乐。之前的小学和中学印象都没有很深刻，所以就从form6讲起，以前form 6在学校就好像元老那样，满街走，看到训导主任还跟他 Yo~wat up!?；哈哈，假的啦！看到跑都来不及咯，嘻嘻。这样就两年了，然后成绩平凡的就进了BINARY UNI COLLEGE; 读一个半学期，就拍拍屁股走人了咯，原因－太多印度人，环境适应不了，水土不服；哈哈，真没用，浪费钱的家伙！

在没得选和家人的推荐就进了UTAR,。在这里是我人生里，一个很大的交叉点，酸甜苦辣，每样都品尝过。班级，学会，大学，活动，人事，安排，领导，工作经验等等，都在这里找到。曾起到最高，也曾下到最低。我很满意我的大学生活，虽然不是每一件事都接触过，可是我认为已很够了。很想谢谢大学里的很多人，ALEX就是第一个，如果当初他没给我那个机会，我没有今天的成就；还有我班的兄弟党，KY, KH, CT, JJ 是他们帮我度过最低潮；班上的一班女强人们，让我学会了处理很多方面的人事问题，哈哈！还有很多人要谢谢，曾帮过我，支持过我的一群committe, senior, junior, members, lecturers and utar stuffs，没他们很多活动都办不成；所以说，有时人事关系也是很重要的。哈哈！

还有最重要当然是那个咯？哪个？那个宝贝咯。哈哈~所以说大学生活是多资多彩的；虽然一切都已过了，可是我没遗憾过。希望大家毕业后能找到自己喜欢的工，听到某些同班同学已找到工了，真的替他们开心。大家加油咯！

想你~

宝贝回了家乡有3天了。

发现了3天没见她的日子真的蛮难受的，虽然懂以后见面的日子会比现在可能更少，可是我还是很想每天能见到她。回了家乡，宝贝显然很想家；是咯~那么久都没回去过，当然会很想自己的家人的啦！

记得昨天她在msn留言给我，有很多很多个句子，虽然我没有对她有很大的表示，可是我看了真的真的真的很感动，让我知道和肯定了很多事，让我肯定了以后的路要怎样走。之前的确有误会和不明确的未知数，可是都一一的解决和肯定了；现在一切都已经清楚了，就让我们一步步的去克服和走下去吧！

我们这样子都过了两个多月了，相信下个两年不会久，下个二十年也不会长，下个人生更不会分开。我爱你，瑞仪

*明天回来咯，终于可以看到你了。想你！

失眠夜

嗨~今天又是一个失眠夜了！
本以为雨过天晴，大事化小，小事化无，可以在今晚睡个平安觉，补回昨晚没睡到的；可是结果反而是向反的，换来另一个失眠夜！

做人难，做好人更难！
的确，我是一个很小气，很不大方和不体贴的男生；
做错事情都没有勇气去面对问题~
人说做好人难？我说一点都不难，因为我根本就不曾是个好人。

很不喜欢在很紧张的情况下谈天，也很不喜欢在沉默中等待的过程；
因为很担心等到的答案并不是想要的，换来的可能只是一场游戏一场梦。

挫折能令人成长，
挫折能令人失落;
挫折也令人振作，
挫折更能令人放弃；
路是人走出来的。

失望！失望！失望！失望！
我们就为一位彻底让人失望的男生说声：活该！

清明节

知道最近为什么时常下雨吗？
因为.....
清明时节雨分分，哈哈~ （好像是这样写）

今天和往年一样，比清明正日迟一个星期去扫墓。
我们6点半就从家里出了，到那大约7点吧！
就已经开始塞车了 =.= 真的很够力

每年我们都需要拜5个坟墓，
祖父，祖母，大伯公，三伯公和大伯。
当然今年也不例外。
我们拜的次序因地点而定，首先祖父和三伯公，因为很近，两隔壁而已。

再来就大伯公了，说起他，我蛮骄傲的；因为他以前日本统治的时代，他是做警察的。
当日本投降过了，他在咖啡厅和几位警察朋友喝KOPI时，就被共产党开枪杀死了。
所以就这样咯~

哈哈，接下来的就好笑咯，是我大伯的坟。他的坟接近山边和溪边，10年前我们能从大路跟着小溪走，就能抵达那个坟。可是因为长年失修和泥土的流失，我们在也不能从小溪走进去了。今年，我从大路看到那条小溪美化了，河提全被维修了；我很兴分，就向爸爸建议从小溪走进去咯。于是我就和我爸两人被着给妈妈讲的声音走向了小溪。走啊~走啊~我就觉得越走越不对劲，爸爸也这样觉得，因为不可能离大路那么远的；之后，我们选着上山去看看到底我们在哪，当我们上到山上，看见周围都是陌生的坟；在看到另一座山头，有一群人在拜祭，仔细一看，原来是我的亲友们。换句话说，我和我老爸其实走错方向，爬错山了。哈哈!!! 想走小路，反而变成了走远路。真丢脸~

过后，就去拜祖母，最后一个坟了。拜完了，我们就到附近的亭子歇歇，吃烧肉，分祭品。
这时吃的烧肉是最好吃的，因为~肚子都饿了!! 哈哈!!

BABY 今天回来，等下去接她。很想念她哦~